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Improve your Accent: Tongue Twisters

English tongue twisters

She sells seashells on the seashore of Seychelles. 
The shells she sells are seashells, I'm sure.
For if she sells seashells on the seashore, 
Then I'm sure she sells seashore shells.

Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?

Whether the weather be fine, 
or whether the weather be not.
Whether the weather be cold, 
or whether the weather be hot. 
We'll weather the weather 
whether we like it or not. 

How many boards could the Mongols hoard 
if the Mongol hoards got bored?

Restaurant conversation. Listening comprehension worksheet.

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Jokes about linguists

"I've just had the most awful time," said a boy to his friends. "First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy."

"Wow! How did you pull through?" sympathized his friends.

"I don't know," the boy replied. "Toughest spelling test I ever had."

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room retorted, "Yeah, right."